to iPhone or not to iPhone

Within the past year, my laptop has had water spilled on it and died, my digital camera was in my front pocket as I tried to lift a pool table and the LCD screen is shot, and now my iPod—which is the earliest version ever made—has decided to freeze up when attempting to sync with my iTunes.

This could mean two things. It's either time to abandon modern technological devices altogether, or it's time to get an iPhone.

But there's another issue—I've never owned a cellphone. I find them to be highly annoying, 'til I need one, then they're great. I also don't like the EMF radiation they put off. But since there's so many out there, I just borrow one from a friend, or in some cases I've even borrowed them from random people (in Amsterdam last year I borrowed a woman's cellphone to get ahold of the person I was staying with, whom I'd connected with via craigslist, and the other week I borrowed one from the girl sitting next to me on the flight to Cleveland to tell my pickup person I was going to be early).

So I'm in a quandry. The iPhone has the ability to replace my laptop, digital camera, and iPod, but it's still a cellphone. But the price it would cost to buy all of those items individually is way more than the $399 iPhone. But then there's the monthly charge, which is about the same as I'm paying for my old-school landline. If I got the iPhone, it would seem a waste of money to have both a landline and a cellphone, yet if I cancelled my landline, I'd be relying on the iPhone for all my phone calls, which would then cause me to be exposed to all the EMF radiation I don't like. But, the iPhone has the ability to listen and talk via the headphones, which theoretically would reduce the EMF radiation coming into my brain via my ear canal. Of course the radiation would still be there, it'd just be closer to whatever body part my iPhone was nearest to (chest pocket would by my heart, and pants pocket would be close to, well, damn).

I've always sworn I'd never own a cellphone, and I can rationalize to myself that the iPhone's not really a conventional cellphone, but yet it's still a cellphone.

If I get one, I'll have to listen to all my friends give me shit for talking trash about cellphones for so long and then becoming a sellout hypocrite. Then they'd want my cell number, and then they'd be texting me.

What to do...